Love with a Married Man

Loving a married man hurts. It hurts down deep in the pit of your soul.

They can only call you when it is convenient. They can only visit you when she thinks he's at work. The two you cannot go out to a movie or many other places. We went to breakfast every morning but it was a little hole in the wall greasy spoon type place.

Mostly we went and parked and talked. Or I would ride with him to look at campers. He was trying to find one for hunting trips. Once we went and looked at cameras some distance from our town.

This went on for 6 months until one morning at breakfast, he was acting strangely. We ate and talked for a while. He walked me to my car and kissed me and told me night-night since I would have to go home and go to bed from having worked all night. He said, "I'll call you after while when you've had time to sleep". We both drove off our separate ways.

That was the last time I ever heard from him.

What hurt the most was he couldn't tell me it was over.

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Well, not long after that was over with, still on the rebound, (and still married), I met another guy who also happened to be my supervisor at my new job.

By now, my mind was settled; I was leaving my husband. Our baby was a senior, already working full time toward work credits for his upcoming college classes. He was rarely ever home.

My husband told for 24 years that he would never let me leave. I didn't know how true that was, but I was in a place where I didn't care. I was in a high bipolar state by now. I was brave. I found me an apartment in the next city over and was alone for the first time in my life. Then the rebound relationship picked up in full force. Did I mention he was married as well? Yep, another one,

The difference between rebound guy and breakfast guy was breakfast guy made it clear right up front he would never leave his wife. He had been in a gun fight during his police years and wound up being shot and having to shoot a kid...a 12 year old kid...who had just shot him. The kid died.

His wife took care of him when he was finally put in the loony bin after he "lost it" over shooting the kid and killing him. She kept their home going while the hospital tried to put his head back together. For that, he will never leave her.

Rebound guy on the other hand talked about leaving so we could be together. He was going over their finances and seeing if it was feasible to leave righ then - turns out it wasn't. They needed two incomes to pay all their bills and he didn't want to leave her in a lurch. Evidently though, she wasn't too awful worried about finances because she met him after work one day and had all his things packed in boxes in the back of her car. She had hired a PI who had followed him and videoed in coming and going from my apartment. He called me after she drove away, from his car that was full of everything he personally owned, and told me he was on his way. That, is how we came to be a couple.

Battered Women

The first time my husband of 24 years hit me, we had been married 8 days. He hit me in the face so hard I fell half way across out bed. He hit me because I cussed him. I never cussed him again.

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I never believed I was capable of cheating. I never believed there was anyone out there who would be interested in me because I was overweight. I've never felt pretty at all. The he came along. He started spending a lot of the night talking to me on my 3rd shift job. Eventually we began going to breakfast every morning when I got off.

We had both been in law enforcement in our pasts. We talked about our experiences there. He loved hearing my "war stories". When I was working there my husband never wanted to hear my stories. Here was this handsome guy, 4 years my junior, and he was really interested in me. That is how the whole thing began.

I Won the Battle & Lost the War

Years ago, I led a fairy tale life. I was a housewife. I raised our children. I was the class mother and baked the cupcakes and chaperoned on the field trips.

I was a foster mother to several children over the years and took in any stray that happened by our property.

I cooked three square meals a day and washed and ironed and kept a spotless home.

I married way too young. I was 15. Even though we were young, we still did pretty well for ourselves. By the end of our 24 year marriage, we had a small farm. It was almost paid for the day I left.

I'm no longer sure why I left. Before "him" we were doing okay. Our kids were older, one was already gone and out on her own. We were just about to that time when we'd be "free" and could do some things we want to do.

Yes, before I got the job, and met him, things were good as far as I knew.